Date:  Fri May 25, 2001  6:58 am [ProzacTruth]

Hi - so my terrible experience with SSRI's involves
effexor, which I've taken for 2 years now.  I've
gained around 75lbs. in the last year which has caused
very uncomfortable breast enlargement and tenderness. 
I've also noticed I have had no real sense of self
since I started taking SSRI's so very long ago. I've
forgotten who I am and how to react. I feel
inhuman...so very apathetic.  I've found no real joy
in life since I've started on these drugs.  Nor have I
felt any real sadness. The past two years have
involved me just sort of existing, but not living.
Physically, I feel sick all the time, tired all the
time....I've seen my eye doctor several times trying
to explain to him that my eyesight is rapidly
deteriorating, of course, I'm given a new prescription
each time...but no correlation is ever found between
my poor eyesight and effexor - at least, not by any
doctor.  I never had a migraine in my life until I
began effexor.  Now I have debilitating ones at least
once a month.  So, yeah, Effexor has managed to keep
me from wanting to cry 24/7 and it has helped with my
depression - but at what cost?  Lack of all human
emotions and the increase of constant physical pain? 
It's just not worth it anymore. 

I hate it when I'm off my medication because everyone
around me tells me how awful I am to be around. 
Apparantly, I'm no a lot of fun when I'm depressed.
Big suprise there, huh? And I don't want to cause
problems for my family and friends by going off of the
drugs.  But, I feel I no longer have a choice.  In the
past year I was diagnosed with 5 herniated disks in my
thoracic and cervical spine.  My back, my disks, my
body can not endure carrying around all this weight
I've gained and my back really can't take the large
increase in breast size.  I've gone from a B to almost
DD.  I'm in so much physical pain each day, and I feel
Effexor has been the trigger of this unexplained
weight gain.  I haven't changed my lifestyle or what I
eat anyway - yet I keep gaining weight. So, I've had
it.  I stopped taking it a few days ago.  Am a little
freaked out because if I wasn't crazy before these
doctors gave me these terrible drugs, I feel I am now.
 I don't understand how to perceive things right now. 
Someone will say something to me and i have no clue as
to what they're trying to say.  Are they mad at me? 
Is there some sort of hidden statement in what they're
saying?  Are they being sincere or sarcastic?  Words
go in my brain, but I can't seem to comprehend it all.
 Was I this screwed up before?  Is this the real me
right now?  And what if my loved ones realize they
don't like the real me?  Maybe the real me is a freak?
 I just don't understand.  I'm just very confused.  

So, I'm going through effexor withdrawl at the present
time and feeling really, really, awful. I've been on
effexor (300mg) for two years now. Before that it was
zoloft, and before that it was prozac. So, overall,
I've been taking seratonin anti-depressants for 7 or 8
years. I've only experienced effexor withdrawl once
before when I forgot to pick up my prescription for a
few days. It was a nightmare, as it is now. And 
this is just the beginning - day 3. Brain shocks, cold
chills, constant shaking, nausea, and on and on I
could go. Everyone tells me I must stay on my
medication because I've always suffered from really
terrible depression - but I want off this retchid
stuff NOW. I can't believe I've been poisoning myself
with this crap for so long.

I wanted to know if anyone else has had a similar 
experience with this drug....how long it took them to
get over the withdrawl symptoms....and has anyone had
any success with anti-depressants that do not involve
seratonin - if so, which ones? Doctors seem extremely 
hesitant to prescribe anthing other than the SSRIs
from the big drug companies. I know people were
treated for depression before the entry of prozac on
the scence. I've called my doctor and he called me
back. I tried to explain this all to him, but doesn't
believe me in the first place (about the weight gain
and breast enlargement). He chalked it up to me being
the typical hysterical female eating too many 
chocolate bars - which I DO NOT! Just because they
went to medical school, what....that leaves no room
for error on their part....EVER?  He also said there
just weren't any options out there for me that didn't
involve an SSRI.  I just wanted him to work with
me...help me find a drug I'm comfortable taking, and
help me get through this withdrawl without pulling out
my all my hair - but he couldn't be bothered.  I need
help now...answers now!  He told me to make an
appointment and we'd discuss my situation further
(which will be two months from now).  Yeah, thanks for
the help there, doc.  Really nice.  I'm just so
frustrated because of my back, I've had to deal with
so many doctors with huge egos, tiny brains, and NO 
compassion. I should have prepared to expect the worst
from my psychiatrist too.

Can anyone help me? Can anyone give me some words of
encouragement and support...because I can't find any
at the present time.  And, can anyone give me some
tips on easing the withdrawl symptoms - any OTC
medications or herbal remedies I could try?

Thanks so much for reading this long email I'm sure
you've all heard before.  But, you haven't heard it
from me...so can anyone help?  Thanks so much for
listening.

Julie